Whoa. Blogging twice in here in one weekend - can you all handle it? (I know I still have questions to respond to as well. Hopefully I can get to at least one of those today.)
I wrote in my last post how God has really been working in my life in terms of finances. It really has taken a lot of faith to begin to hand them over to Him in the past few weeks, when money is tighter than it's ever been in my life, but obviously, MY way in this isn't working - I
need something supernatural to happen. The housing market is down 22% from this time last year, during what is already the slowest time of year to sell a house. I have no idea how to make ends meet in however long it will take to sell this house, much less to add in a tithe. But I do believe that God will be faithful to me when I trust in Him.
Last night, I reflected on the message about God's confirmation that I heard yesterday. Funny to have that message "confirmed" today.
Since money is so tight, I've been seeking out extra work. I accepted an evening job with Sylvan Learning Center (ooh la la) that begins next week, and I'll be working most Saturdays for the next month at the ropes course. Last week, Hector and I were driving by a local church, and I almost made him drive off the road when I gasped after reading the sign: "Church pianist needed."
I memorized the phone number and called as soon as I got reception. I didn't hear anything from them, and when I drove by the next day, the sign had changed. I've played for churches for years, so it's familiar territory for me.
On Thursday night, I got a voicemail from the pastor; on Friday, we spoke and set up a meeting for today after church.
Yesterday, in praying about everything that was going on in my faith, I suddenly realized that I was about to leave the church that I love and the worship team that I play with once a month to go to a brand new church, just to make an extra buck - and I hadn't even prayed about it. Church is so important in the life of a believer - it's where we literally get fed, where we get the inspiration and conviction to continue living a Christian life. It's where we are challenged, edified and sharpened {;-)}. This church is a tiny little country church - much different from the growing "city" church I currently attend.
So, this morning, my worship team was playing in church. I was pretty excited about it but also cognizant that this could very well be my last Sunday playing with them. I let the leader know, and he was pretty sad about it (truth be told, so was I, but I couldn't dwell on it). We had some down time before the service, so I opened up my Bible, intending to read a Psalm. Instead, my Bible fell on this:
"'Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance. Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you...'
"Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. 'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater. So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please. And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
"For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; the mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.'" (Isaiah 55, selected verses)
I can't even tell you how that spoke to me - especially "why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy?" It was one of those times where you open to the precise verse that you need.
And then my pastor gave a message about tithing. I typically hate it when churches preach about money, but this time, I was less hateful toward that message. It may just be that I admire and my pastor perhaps more than I've respected any others, but I really sensed that he was giving the message less for the church's gain than he was out of a desire to see God's best in our lives... because I really do believe that God blesses our finances when we honor Him in that way. My pastor shared from Malachi 3:10 (among other verses): "'Bring all of the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this,' says the Lord of hosts, 'If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.'"
There was my confirmation about how God was already speaking to me about being willing to tithe to Him, to trust that there will be a way in this when the numbers don't lie and there seems to be no way.
Then an interesting thing happened. I was playing the first chords of our final song which we play as the congregation exits the church, and my pastor approached the stage. I continued playing - A, D, F#, E - as I leaned over to hear him.
"I just want to tell you," he said in his soft drawl, "how glad I am to see you up here. It's just great to see. I was just thinking about how - with everything you've been through - how good it is to see you doing so well and to have you participating."
That certainly didn't seem to be confirmation to leave the worship team or to seek a new church. What was
up with that timing? A friend was waiting for me as I got off the stage; she asked how things were going, and I told her about the pending interview. "Let's pray," she said, guiding me over to a row of seats where she put the situation before God.
Leaving the church, I began to feel like this new church thing just wasn't going to happen, but I continued praying about it as I drove there (running quite late, like usual).
Then I realized that maybe God wanted to use me in a greater way than just as a church pianist at the new church. Maybe he wanted someone young there, to infuse it with life and excitement for God. After all, I ended up being a youth and assistant pastor at the last church where I started just as a pianist. Who knew what I could do here?
I pulled into the parking lot, and there were people waiting for me. "Are you the new pianist?" they asked.
"Um, I'm not really sure," I said, wondering if I was coming for an interview or for training.
"Oh, God bless you," said the woman, enveloping me in a hug. "We've been praying for you."
The man told me how he'd just gotten saved at age 55 and had since written 60 gospel songs without a lick of traditional training. I went in to the church, and there were seven or eight people waiting for me with smiles on their faces.
"You must be Heather!" one said.
We sat down to chat, and I was firmly confused about what God was trying to do here. In the past 24 hours, I'd been certain I would accept this position to get some extra money; I'd been sure that I should turn it down and continue going to my church where I feel so drawn; I thought maybe I should pursue this because God wanted to use me.
In other words, I had no idea.
So we chatted, and we played some songs, and I shared what I was looking for in a church, and they shared what they were looking for in a pianist. They had already interviewed one person for the position, and I could be completely off base, but when I left, I felt as if they were going to pick me. I told them that I wanted to attend a service before I made a decision, and Hector would like to come with me since we'd really like to find a church to attend together (which is quite a conundrum since I think we look for different things in a church). I told them that since I'd be there next Sunday, that I'd be more than willing to play for the service (paid or not paid, I didn't care). The pastor called me a couple of hours later and asked me to do just that.
And I still have no idea.
But it will be good to seek God in prayer. Hector and I had one other local church that we wanted to try, so we'll go to their Wednesday night service and see how that feels to help me make my decision on Sunday. I am completely fascinated at how God is working, though, and I'm curious to see what doors might open or close. I'll keep you posted, and if you think of it, pray for me.