When it's time to stop.
God has really been convicting me about my busyness, particularly in regards to this grad class that I'm taking.
It's a bit strange, because I believe fully that I should be in *this* grad class, but - at the same time - it's very clear that I shouldn't take another presession class again. (Presession runs the three weeks before school lets out for the summer, meeting every night of the school week for four hours, and I've taken a presession class for the past three years.)
I've realized that there's a difference between what I can do and what God wants me to do.
I have a really high tolerance for having a lot of things on my plate at once, and I can usually manage to excel in most areas of my life while it's all going on.
But some things - usually those of God - fall by the wayside.
Isn't it funny how I can stand in church each Sunday, worshipping God, professing to Him that "forever I'll stand" and that I'll be faithful and "every day I'll praise Him" - and by Monday I've gotten too busy to do any of that?
It would be one thing if I didn't sense God in my life after I'd spent time with Him. But I know how He changes my mind, thoughts and actions every time I truly seek Him. I know how it shapes my relationship with Hector - how much more patience and love I have.
I worry sometimes that God is going to ask something big of me, and I feel myself holding back. I'm afraid of what He'll ask, of what it'll take from me. When I was reading Jeremiah, I came across this verse (19:5) - "...they have also built the high places of Baal, to burn their sons with fire for burnt offerings to Baal, which I did not command or speak, nor did it come into My mind." That verse has stuck with me ever since I read it - these men sacrificed their sons - their children - and God hadn't asked that of them. How much do we give up, thinking it's for God, without truly seeking His heart?
I think that's also stuck with me because it reminds me that God does seek big things from us. He seeks the heart willing to sacrifice. And we need to remember that there are things more important to Him than sacrifice - "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice" (Hosea 6:6, quoted twice in Matthew). But still, I know that I haven't really given Him my "life" if I can't give Him each day.
It's a bit strange, because I believe fully that I should be in *this* grad class, but - at the same time - it's very clear that I shouldn't take another presession class again. (Presession runs the three weeks before school lets out for the summer, meeting every night of the school week for four hours, and I've taken a presession class for the past three years.)
I've realized that there's a difference between what I can do and what God wants me to do.
I have a really high tolerance for having a lot of things on my plate at once, and I can usually manage to excel in most areas of my life while it's all going on.
But some things - usually those of God - fall by the wayside.
Isn't it funny how I can stand in church each Sunday, worshipping God, professing to Him that "forever I'll stand" and that I'll be faithful and "every day I'll praise Him" - and by Monday I've gotten too busy to do any of that?
It would be one thing if I didn't sense God in my life after I'd spent time with Him. But I know how He changes my mind, thoughts and actions every time I truly seek Him. I know how it shapes my relationship with Hector - how much more patience and love I have.
I worry sometimes that God is going to ask something big of me, and I feel myself holding back. I'm afraid of what He'll ask, of what it'll take from me. When I was reading Jeremiah, I came across this verse (19:5) - "...they have also built the high places of Baal, to burn their sons with fire for burnt offerings to Baal, which I did not command or speak, nor did it come into My mind." That verse has stuck with me ever since I read it - these men sacrificed their sons - their children - and God hadn't asked that of them. How much do we give up, thinking it's for God, without truly seeking His heart?
I think that's also stuck with me because it reminds me that God does seek big things from us. He seeks the heart willing to sacrifice. And we need to remember that there are things more important to Him than sacrifice - "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice" (Hosea 6:6, quoted twice in Matthew). But still, I know that I haven't really given Him my "life" if I can't give Him each day.
posted by Heather at 5:41 AM
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